Screw Reinvention, Be Your Fantastic Self
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New Year, New You!
I was talking to a friend who was going through a tough time last year, and she kept saying she needed to make huge changes. Essentially changing everything about herself. Hole up on an island for months to sweat it out at some ashram while eating far too much kale and reading way too many self-help books.
She had bought into the hype — touted by all the lifestyle bloggers and entrepreneur coaches online — that the only way to find happiness and success in what she wanted was to stop being herself and learn to be more like them.
With the end of one year transitioning into another, that is always the prime time for these folks to come out of the woodwork. To prey on your insecurities and doubts, making you believe that if you just do what they tell you (usually for a “nominal fee” that ends in 7 or 9), your life will be amazeballs and you will be the best “you” that you could ever possibly be.
Barf. Again. With dry heaving.
‘Cause here’s the thing…and it might be a little too Pollyanna-head-in-the-clouds, but I happen to believe that at our core, we are all pretty fantastic people.
So you, yes you, waking up this weekend, pouring a cup of tea/coffee/cocoa/whisky and settling in to catch up on news and emails from the week — I think you are a pretty fantastic person.
And I’m going to tell you what I told my friend that day.
You don’t need to change your core being. You don’t need to change yourself. You are good enough for everything and more.
What we need to change are our bad habits. Our routines and limiting beliefs.
Think of it like this.
You are a gorgeous gemstone (I like to go with pearl, don’t @ me) hidden in the darkest part of the woods.
Ever walked through the woods before? Gotten to that darkest part, where everything is mossy and dirty and enveloped by massive roots systems? Wanted to just get out of there as quickly as you could, to the pretty place where the sun shines on the colourful flowers and trees give way to perfect clearings where you can settle and relax and behold the beautiful vista that lies before you?
Who hasn’t? If Instagram has taught us anything, it’s that those are the places that people want to be.
But if you want to make changes in your life — for whatever reason, it isn’t feeling all that great — you are probably living day-to-day in that dark dank mossy mess of a forest floor.
You’re still you, though. That gorgeous gemstone, whose sparkle has been dimmed by all the dirt and muck and grime that has collected over the years.
Some of it has been there so long, it’s built a tough-to-crack shell or knotty gnarled scab. Some of it could simply be washed away with a strong soap and luxuriously warm water bath.
Whatever has built up over your gorgeous gemstone, your truest self…that’s what you need to chip away. That’s what you need to scrub off, and learn what brought it there, so you can stay vigilant against letting it creep back again.
You don’t need to change yourself in 2019 to find the life you want.
You might need to change some of the yuck you’ve built up along the way.
But unless you are daily struggling to legitimately not be a homicidal maniac who substitutes salt for sugar in restaurant condiment shakers and knows the difference between your and you’re but refuses to use them correctly because you are a maliciously deviant being who thrives on bringing chaos and sadness to the world — you’re probably ok.
Beneath it all, you are that gorgeous gemstone. And you deserve the beautiful view from the vista, not to be ignored and forgotten in the darkness of the forest floor.