Growing up every parent seems to think that their child is a genius.
Many of my friends have children who apparently are all vying for entrance into Mensa, by virtue of the way that they chew on their toes or can recite the cereal brands located above the microwave.
My parents thought the same of me, and when I was in third grade they took me to a specialist who performed an IQ test on my little nine-year-old brain at the urging of my new teacher. He sat me at a kids play table and made me do mind puzzles (which was cool, cause as a kid I was near obsessed with mind puzzles.) Then he gave me pages and pages of math equations. Then he had me read a bunch of different encyclopedia entries and answer questions on demand based on what I had read.
I remember a particularly interesting entry on the Egyptian pyramids and discussing for a rather lengthy amount of time with the proctor my theories on the physics of lifting the bricks and stones.
I came out of that test with a shiny new number that stated I was a genius, even though I chewed on my toes for the first four years of my existence. The number was reinforced again and again throughout my schooling, as Gifted & Talented/AP/SAT/etc scores all blew the curve for my peers. They sure loved me…
So, what kind of adjustments does one have to make to be able to interact and “fit in” with people when your IQ is on the backside of a bell curve?
IQ Is Not Nearly As Important As EQ When Dealing With People – Human relationships and interaction both fascinate and exhaust me. To me, the formalities and nuances of emotion and conjecture are silly. They only complicate issues that would be easier solved if just looked at from a purely logistic and analytic perspective.
That is why I believe that every problem in the world really COULD be resolved if we just adhered to a winner takes all Rock, Paper, Scissors system. No hurt feelings, no emotional/political/evil empire manipulations…you throw rock, I throw paper. Paper covers rock, I win.
See? Easy and finite.
You Have To Look At The Big Picture – It’s creepy how vividly I remember the pyramid conversation of my first IQ test. At first I provided details and numbers and schematics. Yet my proctor wanted more. How did they build such large structures? Why do all this work? What was the end result? Immediately I tangented off into discussions of Egyptian mythology and culture, the Pharaohs and dynastic systems of government, and the temperature of the desert (please remember, I was 9.)
You can know all the who/what/when/where’s and how’s of any particular thing, but unless you understand the WHY it’s all just data in a spreadsheet.
You Can’t Become Consumed In A World Of Thought My name is Elisa and I used to be a documentary addict. (Hi Elisa) My last documentary viewing was about a month ago, it was Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking. My favorite documentary still stands as The History of Asphalt, a two-hour exploration into the transportation systems and changes of the United States.
Understanding these lofty esoteric and ridiculously mind-boggling topics doesn’t really stop you from walking in front of moving traffic because rationally a car will stop for a pedestrian.
And similar to understanding WHY details and situations play out the way that they do, it is also important to experience as much of that as one can. Not just theorize it.
You Have To Interact On An “Average” Level Yeah, there’s just no nice way to say that. But happiness is generally found in the middle, and the average is where the majority of people interact (thus why it’s the average.) Like Rock/Paper/Scissors that isn’t meant to be hurtful, but a mere statement of fact.
Somehow, not many people like to discuss the origin of the word “turnpike” or the astrophysics of a super nova (ok…the astrophysics of the cosmos are a pretty sexy discussion topic…) Theories and logistics are not conversation topics. You need to learn about things that AREN’T contingent upon reason and facts, but sometimes just fun to talk about.
You Shouldn’t Coast Just Because You Can – Apparently in fourth grade I was at a teacher conference or school presentation and had to read a paper aloud. I read through everything I had written on the first side of the page, engaging everyone with my pithy 10-year-old wit. I then flipped over and read the second half, still rocking the same brilliance. When my teacher asked for the report, I was hesitant to give it to her.
This is because I had only written half of it.
On the spot, reading aloud in front of everyone, I made up the entire backside of the page. And until I was asked to turn it in, no one had suspected a thing. Genius Points = +100. Working hard and finishing something points = -500.
You Have The Ability To Waste Your Intelligence How do you like THEM apples?! Doesn’t matter if you are rivaling Einstein (actually quite mediocre on the numeric scale of IQ genius) if you are not using that intelligence wisely then you are wasting it away. When your brain has the ability to retain and process ridiculous amounts of information, you can fill those little grey cells with any array of subject matter.
One of the biggest reasons I felt compelled to leave my Corporate American existence is the drain I felt. I used to be able to recite Chaucer and solve collegiate algebraic equations in my head. Instead I could recite the underwriting guidelines for a recreational vehicle and solve for on-time results to quarterly sales goals in my head.
Needless to say, being “a genius” is not everything it is cracked up to be. Since I can remember, I have had to adjust so much to fit in and be accepted and feel happy with my life. Kind of like being green, it certainly isn’t easy. 
When push comes to shove not many people enjoy or admire the folks like me. Sure they respect intelligence, but the world revolves around ideas and relationships, not analytics and mind puzzles.
Just look at how intelligent people are depicted in movies. Bookish, geeks, anti-social, irrationally rational, humorless, condescending…society just doesn’t value pure intelligence. You’ll also note how I was very careful not to use the word “smart.” That’s because intelligent people are not always smart (remember the walking in front of cars and awkward social interaction things??)
This isn’t a post about denying who you are at your core to be accepted by society and become average. Rather it is about working with what you’ve got to make your time here on this spinning orbiting planet a little happier.
Photo Credits: Getty Images – Marcy Maloy & rubberball
You are intelligent. Very intelligent. I’m intelligent, but not as much. No one ever tested me for gifted classes, I don’t think it was ever recommended. I am smart however. I have the common sense thing down. I know not to walk out in front of cars because I just know that it’s bigger than me and will hit me. I don’t focus on the social contract that if a driver sees a pedestrian they should stop.
We need both these people in the world, because we need that balance. You and I balance each other out. There needs to be a ying and yang to the world. Remember, just because I’m not as socially awkward as others doesn’t mean I always fit in. In the last month I’ve been called weird at least four different times by four different people. I embrace it. I don’t like being “normal”. It’s too boring. Life outside the box is my comfort zone, I’m pretty content with that 🙂
Amy – That’s why I like walking around the city with you. You grab my arm before I walk into oncoming traffic. Things like that are important…in fact that “common sense” intelligence is (in my opinion) worth much more than bookish smarts.
And you are very right, we do need both kinds of people in the world. Otherwise we’d all be ridiculously boring and getting picked off by vehicles or living like the Jersey Shore. Truly, that is why extremes are dangerous and true happiness tends to lie in the middle.
Good read Elisa. There’s a big difference between cognitive intelligence and emotional intelligence and for most jobs I’d say the latter is significantly more important. I know I liken everything back to sports, but if you’re a coach who knows the game inside and out, but can’t manage the various personalities on the team you’re not going to win at an optimal level.
Ryan – Beyond most jobs, I’d say for most of life the latter is much more important. Truly, while people value cognitive smarts, it’s much “funner” and satisfying to interact with those who get the emotional relationships.
I had this discussion for a LENGTHY time with a colleague regarding sports and coaches and whatnot. I argued a similar point…that you could have someone with all the knowledge and talent in the world, but if they didn’t see the big picture and adjust accordingly then they were going to be horrible business owners. I, like you, of course likened it to football coaches. 🙂