There are two ways to look at the history and traditions of marriage.
There’s the sweet adorable heart-stopping made-for-the-movies way that is all about unicorns and rainbows and love.
Then there’s the clinical transactional business arrangement that involves the property and ownership of women and need to control rampant problems with baby daddies.
If marriage truly is about the sappy beautiful idea that is love or if it is the legal contract between two consenting individuals one thing is certain when looking at both. If you do not extend the same courtesies and laws to all people then you are negating the entire concept of marriage, whichever theory it is you believe in. It is basically taking marriage and putting it into a tiny little box.
Since Hammurabi’s Code, laws have clearly been drawn surrounding the idea that marriage is the only interpersonal contract that is legally recognized by civil and governmental organizations. The laws didn’t change much since Mesopotamian times, save for the introduction of authority by organized religion.
In fact the greatest change to modern marriage came in 1920 when women won the right to vote. Beyond the ability to cast their opinions into the collective “democratic” ring, in 1920 women earned the right to be acknowledged as their own being. No longer were they their father’s property to then be traded off to a husband.
Heck, the past 90 years have seen such crazy things as inter-racial marriage and new laws stating that a woman’s sexuality was NOT the property of her husband, and thus marital rape IS a crime. Things have changed not only because the world around us changes, but also because people realize that laws created 2,300-4,500 years ago MIGHT not be relevant today.
I do not believe in unabashed idealism. And while I do acknowledge the rights of everyone to have their own beliefs, I do not see what same-sex marriage is going to do to detract from the institution as it stands. It isn’t like heterosexuals should be able to claim a corner market on getting it right any longer. Close to 50% of us definitely aren’t. We can no longer make this about the “sanctity” that is this union.
Because if marriage is only a transaction, then we have an entire segment of our population discriminated against by virtue of being shut out of certain inalienable rights. And if marriage really is about love, then you are saying that you don’t believe that gay people can love each other. Regardless of either, the truth is that the change has happened. Whether same-sex marriage is legalized or not, gay couples WILL continue to exist. YOUR VOTE WILL NOT DESTROY HOMOSEXUALITY.
If this is the case, the decision seems to be obvious. Logically, methodically, and legally our society functions better when people are acknowledged as equals. And if you have an issue with the lifestyle then this vote will do NOTHING to stop it from happening. The only thing it will do is continue to complicate. The laws are already in place, they just aren’t applied to everyone.
Be bold enough to state the real reason you are voting. And don’t make it about marriage, because by all accounts there is nothing this vote will do to bring down marriage anymore than straight people already have. Have an opinion, have a voice, and don’t try to make it something it is not.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images: WIN-Initiative
Thank you! Beautifully stated! from a supporter in the unfortunately closed-minded state of MI
Thanks Cheryl for stopping by and commenting! I don’t even know if closed minded is the way to describe the dissenting opinion anymore. I think people are scared and confused, and the closed minded people are taking advantage of that and manipulating it to their own devices. It’s sad, really.
And as evidenced by our vote Maine will not be as revolutionary as originally thought. But at 53% to 47% it’s pretty obvious that there is a major shift occurring!
I tried to read this post with an open mind, but I kept getting stuck at the part where women received the right to vote. I think that’s the real problem 🙂
As for the other, I think I’ll just sit back and watch for now. I doubt you’ll have many open detractors, but IF a couple of people were willing to articulate their argument from an opposing viewpoint it could make for an educational discussion.
Thanks for making us think!
R
.-= Ryan Stephens´s last blog ..Do Bloggers Put Too Much Emphasis on Niche? =-.
Ryan, that may be the first time you’ve thanked me fore making you think. 😛
Nope, there were no vocal dissenters. Unfortunately they were alive and well and voting here on Tuesday. I think the issue is far from dead, however. It isn’t like any equal rights (women’s, blacks, etc.) have ever happened in a quick matter of time.
I have faith, however, that the depth of humanity will eventually prevail.
Great post! This is something that needs to be discussed. I am for the No on 1 side. I’ve always been brought up to be open minded towards everyone no matter sexual orientation, gender, or race. One of my best friends from college is gay. At one point I wanted to be a minister, I then found out that if I performed or participated in a civil union of any kind I could be fired as a minister. I told my friend this. He then started crying and just asked me, ” why do people hate me for wanting to love someone else.” I still tear up thinking about this. His face and words will forever stay in my mind. Every time I hear the Yes on 1 commercials, or hear people speak negatively toward gay marriage I just remember my friend. I become infuriated and hurt for him. For me, I know nothing will change if a man and a man or a woman and a woman want to marry. I just know they’ll be some of the funnest weddings I’ve ever been to 🙂 And that’s why I’m a No on 1 girl.
Amy, so true! One of my favorite weddings ever was when my friend Chance married his husband. It was beautiful, a testament to their love most definitely. I would be horrified to hear someone tell me that their love doesn’t matter because their marriage is not “recognized.” Unfortunately I don’t think it is all about hate or negativity as it is fear and ignorance.
Fear and ignorance should NOT be cornerstones of any foundation.
What are you talking about?!?! This is AMERICA you’re talking about! We have a long strong history of not treating segments of the population as people. That’s how we can CONTROL and manipulate them.
Blacks weren’t people. (They were a fraction of a person)
Women weren’t people (They were their husband’s/father’s property)
Homos aren’t people. (They are an abomination)
Times will change, mainly, like you said, because the world we live in constantly changes. And realistically, homos are EVERYWHERE. In places where you least expect it.
Disclaimer: I’m a black female homo. 🙂
Seriously Elisha, I’m glad you wrote this. I’ve been thinking about my political beliefs and about adding a stronger political component- which would include some stuff on gay marriage. You’ve not my writing juices flowing on this topic- and now I have someone to link to. 🙂
.-= Monicarolevans´s last blog ..And They Say That Content Is King =-.
Um, best reason EVER for the Brazen Blog Crush…Marie pointed me to your blog! And you now occasionally comment on mine. This just cracked me up! Mostly because I knew the backstory to the comment before your disclaimer.
You should definitely take the time to update occasionally on your political and social justice beliefs. I think it is something beautifully inherent to this current young professional group. We are impassioned yet logistical about revolutionary change. I think it will be US who makes the social strides necessary for progress in the upcoming years. It seems to always be the youngest of the generations that speaks the loudest in such matters (Gen X – Vietnam, Baby Boomers – Civil Rights, etc.)
Thanks for voicing this. Your opinion is well articulated, reasonable, and inspiring.
As usual you stated things in such a way that is so rare now a days. It’s a breath of fresh air to see succinct points made.
Thanks man! Succinct is not generally one of my more common traits, so it’s nice to hear people appreciated it. 🙂
Your amazing! I’m lost for words here. Your post always leaves me speechless…. Very inspiring!
.-= Cheila´s last blog ..Closure: I’m Ready To Let Go =-.
No loss for words. Find your words and spread your own inspiration. It is only through our voices collecting beyond the soft whisper that people will finally hear.