Not Quite A Limb

I had not set my alarm clock once since leaving Corporate America on September 1st.

I’m usually up by 7:30 AM at the latest, and there’s something absolutely nurturing and physiological about waking up with your body’s circadian clock rather than a squawking buzz or a cellphone tone (no matter how cool it is.)

But sometimes the alarm is necessary, like this past Saturday when I had to be up and on a bus by 9:15 AM at the latest.  That’s just something you don’t want to chance an oversleep on.  Especially since I was heading down to Boston to meet (in the 3-D world) a former #blogcrush, Sean Ogle, while he was out here visiting.

Aside from my desire to meet up with everyone I “know” online here, I have a soft spot in my heart for Mr. Ogle since he’s from WEST COAST Portland and probably one of the Top 3 kindest #blogcrushes I’ve reviewed.  Which is why, at 9:15 I boarded a bus to Boston with only a faint idea of where I was going (Red Line – Cambridge area) and my backpack.

I had *sort of* made plans with Sean to hang out in Boston, but nothing definite.

A quick Twitter message to Nate, a fellow blogger from Maine also in Boston to visit Sean, and I settled into my bus seat to read a bit and work.  Then they played Down Periscope, an awesome movie from the 90’s that is horribly under-rated, and I felt a strange sense of calm that everything was going to work out.

I arrived at South Station in Boston, still having no idea what was going on.  Also having never used the South Station T-stop before.  I knew I had to get on the Red Line (which I rarely ride in Boston, hence the no-South-Station thing) and head out to Cambridge.  I wandered around the station, and finally sat down with some lunch (hey, remember this was my FIRST alarm in 20 days…breakfast was NOT an option!) to relax.

I was running about a 77% expectation of my Saturday in Boston coming together as planned.  Now for many of you, especially those jet-setting location indies and business owners and skydivers and way more badass than myself individuals, if you’ve made it this far it’s like a cheese grater on your lower back.  But you have to understand.Out on a limb

I am a RIDICULOUSLY analytically control-freak planner.  I don’t leap, I barely hop.  Being two hours away from my home with no idea what was going on and no vehicle to get anywhere is a HUGE thing for me.  It’s lame for you, it’s big for me.  Don’t you dare judge.

It’s a funny thing I experience since going into freelance writing full-time less than a month ago.  I’m somehow cooler now or something.  My ideas are somehow better.  People want to hear my story more.  Collaborators want to reach out more.

But I’m still this girl who gets overwhelmed by having no idea what the hell she is doing in a “big” city like Boston.  I freelance write now.  I sometimes wear my hair wavy.  I eat bowls of cereal and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches almost daily.

I’m not doing super cool things* like walking across America.  Or getting paid to survey costs-of-living around the world.  Or launching full courses on overcoming uncertainties.

And that’s ok.  I still matter.  My limb might be essentially the width of the entire trunk and only 10 feet off the ground, but it’s still mine.  Maybe one day I’ll climb to a higher and smaller branch.  But please don’t think I’m even cooler then.  Instead, take some time to realize how cool the person on that thick limb painfully aching to climb higher is.

They deserve our time, too.

I told Nate or Alan (can’t remember which asked) while I was climbing all over the coolest jungle gym ever when they asked “What’s your plan up there.”

My response?  “I have no idea, but it’s really fun.”

Photo Credit: Getty Images – Buena Vista Images

* Please note this is in NO WAY DISCOUNTING the cool things Nate, Alan & Sean do.  Cause, um, they’re kind of awesome.  But wait til I write about my day in Boston, and how much fun NOT dominating the world or being wild & crazy occasionally can be!  Everything in moderation, right?

14 Comments

  1. Grace Boyle

    I really like this post and I really like your honest…which you have always been in honest in your writing. A huge reason I come back here for years to read 🙂

    I know a lot of people tout and talk about their crazy, wild trips and I for one, AM a risk taker so I take giant leaps, sometimes I land on my head, backwards, etc. but for me, that’s my thang. My shit. But for you, doing what you need and want too, couldn’t be more important.

    There isn’t anything worse than stepping outside of what you KNOW makes you feel good, makes you do good, makes you work good, etc. Knowing that is a huge piece of it and makes you the amazing you that you are 🙂 xoxo

    • Elisa Doucette

      Grace – Aw, thanks! Yes, anyone can expect to come back for years and continue finding that same honesty.

      And so very true. It really is about knowing yourself. Making it a challenge, but not so much of a challenge that you are miserable the whole time doing it. Our limbs may be different, but our hearts for adventure and strive. 🙂

  2. Akhila

    Elisa, I can SO relate to this post. I am not really a risk taker. Some would think I am because in the past few years, I spent a year in London, a summer in Geneva (though I know absolutely 0 french), and then moved to D.C. after graduation not knowing anyone in this city. But actually, I have friends who are off to India, China/Hong Kong, Senegal, Ethiopia, or other far off countries after graduation, and compared to them I feel absolutely small. And risk averse. It’s easy to feel like you’re not “as good” because you’re scared to take off and land in a new country. Especially when my interest is in international human rights. In fact, I turned down an opportunity in Uganda to work here in D.C. And while I’m loving my job, I still feel ashamed of being so risk averse.

    But this post helps me relate & makes me feel better, because I know I’m not alone 🙂 Knowing your boundaries is important!

    • Elisa Doucette

      Akhila – Wow, I’m *really* happy you commented. Because you are right, I would not have thought of you as “not a risk-taker.” Thinking about it and knowing you, I can see where you would think out moves and futures carefully without just hopping on a plane.

      I think the limbs you go out on and leaps you take are most definitely to be commended. Are you living in a dirt hut in Mozambique right now? Do they even HAVE dirt huts in Mozambique? Does it matter? I know you are going to make big waves where ever you are.

      Ah….your comment just made ME feel even better. Thanks so much!

  3. Nate

    Such a great post! Seriously. And I’m pretty certain that it was me who asked you that question mentioned at the end 🙂

    It’s fantastic that you’re so proud of your limb. I’ll admit that I’ve been horrible in the past about this. I’m always worried about who’s up there higher than me and WHY I can’t be like them. There is a ton of value in being content (while also still striving for more, just in a patient and realistic way).

    Rock on!

    • Elisa Doucette

      Nate – Yes, I *do* believe it was you! Cause then you started climbing the beams. Obviously the brief convo, like so many other things from the weekend, stuck with me. Have I mentioned how excited I am to have a “fellow blogger from Maine?!”

      Believe me, it’s a lot easier to write about it than constantly live it. I look up at other people’s branches ALL THE TIME and get super jealousies wanting what they have. But in retrospect I realize that I probably wouldn’t be as happy as they are, because it wasn’t right for me.

      Not to say for some things I never will be, just in their due time.

    • Alan

      Awesome, Elisa. I was so glad you made the trip down on Saturday. Learned a lot chatting with you, mostly about how ridiculously funny you are, but some other good stuff too.

      Keep up the good writing over here, and hope to see you romping around on that jungle gym in the near future!

      Alan

      • Elisa

        Alan – I’m really glad I made the trip down too. It was awesome chatting and getting to know you (since I was foolish and hadn’t connected before 🙂 )

        I’ll definitely be by the jungle gym soon enough…I’ve actually pitched a few Boston writing jobs. Now that I know it’s only $30 for the day to travel and there’s awesome folks to hang out with, it only makes sense to visit more.

  4. Sharon

    Hey! It was so nice to see you in sorta real person in the Boston video. I’m glad that Sean is able to meet up with so many people from around the globe. Real people, doing real fun things. You all rock.

    • Elisa Doucette

      Sharon – Haha, yes, that’s me. I’ll have to figure out a time to chat when I’m out in Portland (hopefully for the Summit) so WE can have an IRL story. 🙂

  5. Jack

    Enjoyed the post. I don’t think you have to do anything groundbreaking to be cool. Most of the people that I think are cool still have 9 to 5s. Although I am starting to connect with some really cool (appearing) people in the blogosphere who are “location independent”.

    28 days from now I’m striking out on my own to live off the ‘net and be a sort of digital nomad myself. I don’t really have a plan (well I do have a plan for my business but as for myself…I’m hoping to wing it daily).

    Isn’t it cool though, to be able to hit Boston on a whim? Well maybe not a whim for you, since you’re a planner. I am a bit of a planner too but, as my girlfriend likes to joke: I plan to be spontaneous…

    • Elisa Doucette

      Jack – Haha, I’ve heard before the “plan to be spontaneous” thing. That’s me perfectly. Even with the fear that the guys wouldn’t be able to meet up I was already planning out what I could do in Boston on my own. While I was on the bus. 2 full hours before I arrived. 🙂

      But more importantly CONGRATS! It’s definitely going out on a limb to quit the 9-5 and hack it for yourself. Like you I know many people happy and fulfilled working their “boring 9-5’s” and they are a great folks that I love spending time with. Just not for me. At least right now.

      Again…congrats!

  6. Tina

    You’re a brave woman, taking a bus to an unknown T stop and then actually taking the T… alone! The last time I was threatened with having to navigate the T I called my brother, who lived in Cambridge at the time, and requested he be my chauffeur so I could avoid the scary T (and, you know, visit with him a bit).

    Sometimes we just have to put ourselves out there and do things… definitely leaning toward a day trip to NH on Saturday… 🙂

    • Elisa Doucette

      Tina – The unknown T stop was a little overwhelming, but somehow trains and subways don’t bother me all that much. Weird, I know, but I figure they have a very rigid schedules and maps posted everywhere, plus transfers are usually free (you could just ride around the subway line for days I bet!) Buses…buses scare the bejeezus out of me!

      Glad you are leaning – it is important sometimes to just do things, most definitely. The experience of a weekend with college friends will be MUCH MORE than the experience of working through the weekend.

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