5 Moments That Made 2011 For Me

Me & Leo post-headshots at Melissa Mullen’s studio

2011 was my Year of Intention.

I had a super long list of goals and resolutions that seemed like awesome ideas at the time. By November I decided that flexibility was more important than checking things off a list. Not checking things off a list hurt my soul a little bit, but I know that it was the right way to go.

Whether that was epic success or epic failure, I spent 2011 living in a world of Go Big or Go Home.

If a Year of Intention means anything, it means Don’t Do Anything Half-Assed.

With all the roller coasters peaks and valleys, looking back there were 5 definitive moments that MADE the year 2011 for me.

• The Moment: Just after the start of the year, I spent a weekend holed away at a secluded post office bungalow in Owls Head, Maine. As the stress of freelancing and making ends meet was really beginning to catch up with me, I needed to get away from it all. My brilliant friend Rob knew that and forced me to come stay at his vacation get-a-way spot even though I whined at him that I had too much work to do. I turned off the data connection on my phone, left my laptop at home, brought a book and a duffle bag and $100 to spend.

Lesson Learned: Everyone needs to get away sometimes. Turn off everything, relax and reflect, and eat delicious food with wonderful friends.

Going Forward: Every year I will plan a personal retreat where I escape the world for a weekend. A necessary recharging of the mind, body & soul

• The Moment: On February 5th I got an email from a woman named Caroline Howard.

The email started:

Dear Elisa: I’m a fan of your work on Ophelia’s Webb and follow you on Twitter from my personal account as well as my channel on Forbes.com, ForbesWoman…I am asking you to consider blogging on Forbes.com. Need I add: I truly believe your voice and content–particularly your posts under the “Young Professionals” and “Life Lessons” categories–would resonate well with our audience.

I proceeded in Googling the bejeezus out of her because I did not for one second believe that she was legit. I figured my next correspondence would be asking for a banking account number so she could start wiring money from an obscure African prince’s account. Why would someone at Forbes want someone like me to write for them?

She was legit and then some. Giving me my own blog on ForbesWoman (Shattering Glass), my first post hit on February 17th.

Lesson Learned: You may never know who sees your talent and wants to give you an opportunity. Also, never under-estimate yourself.

Going Forward: I write for mother-effing Forbes.com! When I get anxious or worried that I might not be good enough or that it is foolish to pursue a writing career, I repeat that exact phrase in my head again and again until I grin from ear to ear.

• The Moment: I showed up at my parents’ house half an hour from my apartment, looked at my Mom standing in the kitchen and my Dad as he walked out from the living room, and collapsed in a ball at his feet hysterically sobbing because I had officially hit my “fail point”. The threshold in a entrepreneurial model when you realize that you must adjust or quit, because what you are doing isn’t going to work. The next 72 hours is a complete blur, I felt like I was floating above my body watching my life fall apart.

Lesson Learned: Blog comments and Twitter sharing may reinforce a sense of community and help you contribute to a greater good, but just because people like your site it doesn’t mean that you have a sustainable business model. (Ouch! This one hurt. A LOT!) Eventually you can’t provide any good content because your life is consumed in your failing business.

Going Forward: Maintain separate lines of incoming revenue not dependent on blog content, popularity and recognition. Also, know that bill collectors really enjoy getting paid and do not enjoy being ignored.

• The Moment: Six years ago I manipulated someone into breaking up with me rather than having to admit my feelings. Against what should have been my better judgment I started seeing him again last winter. In June, after one of those special awkward heart-jumps-into-your-throat-because-feeling-feelings-is-terrifying flashes, I faced a similar decision. Admit my feelings or push him away. I took a deep breath, exhaled and shared. I was met with immediate rejection. (Ouch. Again. This one probably  hurt more.)

Lesson Learned: After my theories were confirmed and I had solid evidence that vulnerability would break your heart, my most basic instinct told me to go back to my walled up/closed off ways. I did not.

Going Forward: Even though it might hurt, rarely is a great reward acquired without a great risk.

• The Moment: After spending nearly two weeks logging onto a website daily (sometimes thrice daily) to read a job posting for a position that would be absolutely ridiculous for me to pursue, I committed to applying about 20 hours before the deadline. I had decided to apply the first time I read the TMBA 9th Internship. But I was afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough for them or that I wouldn’t be able to make it happen or that I wouldn’t be able to make it happen in time.

Those crazy bastards hired me even though I felt like I had no business even throwing my name in the ring! Hell, they created a position and gave me even more responsibility cause they felt like I could handle it and would add to their brand because of it.

Lesson Learned: Lessons are already being learned! Believing in my abilities, taking a risk, escaping my current stagnant situation and solid monetary decisions that reinforce my writing career. You cannot know where you are going until you recognize where you have been.

Going Forward: Going forward? I leave for Bali in less than 2 weeks! It is ALL forward from here, baby! 

Photo Credit: Melissa Mullen Photography (snapped quickly w/an iPhone in the moment)

Speaking of Bali, I want to thank the lovely people who have chipped in some money to that little piggy bank on my sidebar. Reinforcing that what I do here brings some value to you means so much, and I look forward to continuing to do that. Thank you to: Jenny Blake (Life After College), Jeffrey Trull (Money Spruce), Melissa Mullen (Melissa Mullen Photography), Dianne Mullen, Dave Ursillo (DaveUrsillo.com), Julie Clow, Paul & Fran Doucette, Darcy & Mike Gagnon, Amy Doucette & Tim Gagnon, and Sophia Bera.